Why Gratitude is a Year Around Practice

February and March are not the easiest months for me.  New York is often gray and cold and while the days are starting to get longer, they are not near long enough.  The festivities of Thanksgiving and the holidays are well behind us at this point with the bubbling of gratitude and togetherness a mere distant memory.  But it is in the daily gratitude where we can find real nourishment for a joy that dwells deep within us, percolating as if on cue when prompted. 

We must prompt.

This is where we must be intentional with our gratitude and I do not mean the blase list your five-year-old could make. Rather, the list that comes from deep within and actually makes you smirk, giggle, and perhaps even blush.  If you’re looking to maintain a spirit of love and thankfulness that flows like Veuve and jumbo shrimp at a lavish cocktail party, I’ve curated a list of undeniable benefits of giving thanks to help get you started.  Here’s my top 5:

1. Gratitude will change relationships.
   

Everyone wants and needs to be appreciated.  It is human nature.  Your spouse, children, parents, friends, coworkers, even the cashier in the supermarket and the stranger on the street.  Maya Angelou says, “people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” If you are struggling in any relationship in your life, start making a list each and every day of why you are grateful for that person.  Then have the courage to say it out loud.  Let me give you an example: you are mad at your husband.  You feel like he doesn’t do enough.  You wish he did more.  You’re tired of carrying the burden.  You’re tired of being the breadwinner, the family manager, the live-in chef, or all of the above.  Make a list of things he does do:

1. Goes to work every day.
2. Makes an honest living.
3. Comes home every night.
4. Kisses the kids at bedtime.
5. Calls to ask if I need anything at the store.

Here’s what you could then say to him, “thank you for working so hard every day and making money for our family.  I am so grateful for you.”  See what happens to your husband when you do this once, twice, three, times.  Even if you want to be mad, say it anyway.  (You might be bristling right now, that’s okay, do it anyway). Then notice what happens to you after you’ve said it two or three times. Magic! 

2. Gratitude creates contentment

How often are you inundated with buy more, be more, do more?  Look younger, thinner, wiser, smarter, prettier, athletic, buy here, read here, click here!  Wow, it’s a lot.  With so much of that bigness and temptation out there, it’s hard to even catch your breath.  Choosing to be grateful can shut out all of that noise and give you a knowing that you are enough.  Eckhart Tolle says, “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

February and March are not the easiest months for me.  New York is often gray and cold and while the days are starting to get longer, they are not near long enough.  The festivities of Thanksgiving and the holidays are well behind us at this point with the bubbling of gratitude and togetherness a mere distant memory.  But it is in the daily gratitude where we can find real nourishment for a joy that dwells deep within us, percolating as if on cue when prompted. 

We must prompt.

This is where we must be intentional with our gratitude and I do not mean the blase list your five-year-old could make. Rather, the list that comes from deep within and actually makes you smirk, giggle, and perhaps even blush.  If you’re looking to maintain a spirit of love and thankfulness that flows like Veuve and jumbo shrimp at a lavish cocktail party, I’ve curated a list of undeniable benefits of giving thanks to help get you started.  Here’s my top 5:

1. Gratitude will change relationships.
   

Everyone wants and needs to be appreciated.  It is human nature.  Your spouse, children, parents, friends, coworkers, even the cashier in the supermarket and the stranger on the street.  Maya Angelou says, “people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” If you are struggling in any relationship in your life, start making a list each and every day of why you are grateful for that person.  Then have the courage to say it out loud.  Let me give you an example: you are mad at your husband.  You feel like he doesn’t do enough.  You wish he did more.  You’re tired of carrying the burden.  You’re tired of being the breadwinner, the family manager, the live-in chef, or all of the above.  Make a list of things he does do:

1. Goes to work every day.
2. Makes an honest living.
3. Comes home every night.
4. Kisses the kids at bedtime.
5. Calls to ask if I need anything at the store.

Here’s what you could then say to him, “thank you for working so hard every day and making money for our family.  I am so grateful for you.”  See what happens to your husband when you do this once, twice, three, times.  Even if you want to be mad, say it anyway.  (You might be bristling right now, that’s okay, do it anyway). Then notice what happens to you after you’ve said it two or three times. Magic! 

2. Gratitude creates contentment

How often are you inundated with buy more, be more, do more?  Look younger, thinner, wiser, smarter, prettier, athletic, buy here, read here, click here!  Wow, it’s a lot.  With so much of that bigness and temptation out there, it’s hard to even catch your breath.  Choosing to be grateful can shut out all of that noise and give you a knowing that you are enough.  Eckhart Tolle says, “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

3. Gratitude improves our health and reduces our stress

That’s right.  According to the National Institutes of Health, studies suggest that practicing gratitude could have health benefits (linked to fewer signs of heart disease) as well as improving emotional well-being by helping you cope with stress and depression.  When we focus on what we do have and stop focusing on what we do not have, our shoulders relax, our spirit lightens up, and we can begin to experience a little bit of joy!

4. Gratitude is contagious

Just like fear and worry, you can spread a whole lot of gratitude!  You can be the one to take somebody by the hand, look them in the eye and tell them how much you appreciate them and what they bring to your life.  Honestly, what a gift! You can be the ripple effect in your home, your family, your work, your community.

5. Gratitude prompts generosity

Do you know that emotions speak just like a cold or the flu?  It’s called emotional contagion.  (you can google it!) Instead of spreading fear and anxiety, choose to spread gratitude! When we’re in fear that our own needs are not being met, it is really tough to give and be generous.  But, when we have a regular practice that allows us to see all of our blessings and just how much we have to be thankful for, we are far more likely to give…of our selves, from our heart, with kindness, with love.  It’s the image of a closed fist.  Yes, we can close our fist and trust that nothing will get out.  Hold on tight and clench for dear life so we do not lose anything.  But, if we open our hand, palm wide, some of it may fly away, but God knows how much will fly in and bless us.  You can be the ripple that spreads positivity and joy to your world, your family, your community.  Now, that is JOY!

BONUS:

5 Gratitude Journal Prompts to help you get started

1. Write 3 things you’re grateful for in the past 24 hours
2. Write about a trip you took and the sights, smells, and people you experienced
3. Write about somebody who means the world to you
4. Write about a place that brings back warm memories
5. Write a list of 5 things you LOVE about yourself