February 16, 2023
As women, we are so good at juggling. We juggle all day long. The kids, the drop-off, the bus schedule, the homework, the soccer shoes, the permission slip. The things. All the things. And, that is just our warm-up before we get to our desk with our inbox blowing up and our ELT screaming that we are not hitting our targets.
The targets, the KPIs (Key Performance Indicators), the shareholders, the QBRs(Quarterly Business Reviews), the team, the meetings, the metrics, the APR (annual performance reviews),
Let me introduce the concept of pivoting. Definition: completely change the way in which one does something.
Where can you pivot? Small pivots. Big pivots. And, mid-sized ones along the way.
Indulge me as I share a story. I was in the middle of a divorce. A divorce that my then-husband did not want, would not acknowledge, and refused to admit was happening. In a moment of sheer frustration, I said, ‘You cannot make me stay married to you!’ My boys were 3 and 5. We had just relocated to the Hudson Valley of NY for my job promotion…but primarily… so my soon-to-be ex-husband could be with his family and we could part ways amicably. To say it was a stressful time would be an extreme understatement. We were all living in a God-awful, mold infested rental house. My commute to the office was an hour each way and I had never reported to an office before (I was always field based). I was searching for daycare, pediatricians, and my sanity. I vacillated between anger and guilt, remorse and feeling caged. I wanted to be kind, but I wanted to be free.
I had new bosses and colleagues I felt compelled to impress. But, honestly, the whole house of cards that I was barely keeping together was going up in flames. I was working at night, so I could leave the office and be home at an early time to see the boys. I was looking for a house so I could get out of this cohabitating, co-parenting, you can’t keep me guilt-ridden so I will stay married to you nightmare I was living.
And then it happened.
I went for a quick lunch with colleagues. Just to a deli after a morning of executive-level presentations. I was tired. Weary. Hungry. Lonely. Sad. And…bam…next thing I know I’m in an ambulance. I had passed out, face first on the concrete sidewalk, a sleep-deprived, stress induced collapse of fatigue and complete lack of self-anything.
It was time for a major pivot.
This event forced me to find my voice, take action, and get out of my situation. Within a week I had an offer on a home. Four weeks later, the boys and I were moving into a two-story colonial on two acres. My ex continued to stay in the rental house even though it was in my name. I didn’t care. I just knew I needed out. I could only control myself and this was a small price to pay for peace.
That was 15 years ago. We’re still in that 2-story colonial. Today it is a thriving, bustling home where I have learned to make many other pivots: finalizing a divorce, leaving companies, joining new companies, starting my own company, doing work on myself, learning to let go, learning to let God. I’ve learned that sleep isn’t for when we’re dead, it’s for now so that we can run at optimal capacity. I’ve also learned to love and trust, to speak up and share my truth about what I need and want. I’m also willing to listen and not take everything so personally as though I’m in trouble or I’ve done something wrong. I’ve learned the Universe wants more for me than I can even imagine for myself and that if I simply believe and listen to my intuition, maybe, just maybe everything I need is right in front of me.
What about you? Have you had a major life pivot? Or are you in the midst of a turbulent life storm and barely hanging on? It’s okay to let a few of those juggling balls drop, you will carry the most important ones with you to juggle in a new space with fewer balls, less chaos and fear, and a whole lot more JOY!
Glad to be doing it with you. xx